Story of Fidaa’ represents Gaza women's suffering from the pain of loss and the bitterness of living and surviving

Gaza Strip - The story of Fidaa( 38 years old) from Gaza, represents the pain and sorrow of Gaza women who are paying  the brunt of the repeated wars against Gaza, most recently Israel's 15-month war against the Gaza Strip from 7 October until the announcement of a ceasefire in January 2025 and the illegal  17-year air, land and sea blockade imposed on the Gaza Strip depriving the residents of the strip from traveling and restricting their movement . They need to get permits for going outside Gaza to receive medical treatment. Fidaa’ is an aid worker who worked with Al-Aqsa Sports Club and is a partner of the Action Aid Palestine Foundation. She passed through horrific conditions after the loss of her husband during the war. She holds a PhD degree and is a mother of seven children.

The War Changes Life in Gaza 

Fidaa’s life has been upended and completely changed by the war on the Gaza Strip. Fidaa’ says: "Gaza did not have a perfect life before the war, life was not perfect, but it was much better. I was a strong and proud woman. She worked as a program officer for an NGO, Al Aqsa Sports Club, which provides a safe space for children to play. Fidaa’ recalled life before the War,: “we  have been organizing workshops for arts and crafts with the support of the Action Aid Palestine, encouraging children to be creative as a means to counter the psychological impact of conflict and blockade. "

Fidaa got a PhD with the support of her husband and family. Fidaa says: "We could buy our own house after 15 years of savings in the southern Gaza city of Zahra, and we were looking to raise our children there. But everything changed after October 7, 2023.

The nightmare of War Survival 

Fidaa lost her husband during the airstrikes on the Gaza Strip during the war, turning her life into a daily nightmare and a struggle for survival after October 2023. Fidaa’ says: "I became a widow and mother of seven children between the ages of 9 and 20. It is very difficult to describe the nightmare we lived in Gaza, and we have faced death and terror every day. We have suffered untold suffering, including the loss of my husband, Abdul Hamid, due to the bombing. 

The horror of loss and the suffering of displacement

Fidaa’ and her family were displaced and left the city of Zahra days after the shelling began. They were displaced to an UNRWA shelter in a former school in Nuseirat, where they stayed for several months. Fidaa’ talked about the pain of loss and displacement: "my husband, my brother and I tried to put on, a beautiful routine. Every evening, we gathered in the schoolyard for talking , playing and sharing jokes and telling stories over dinner. Those moments were a consolation for us amid the chaos, and a brief escape from the constant fear that surrounded us ".

We left the school yard on 14 May 2024, as usual to return to our bedrooms. According to the rules of the shelter, men and women sleep in separate rooms. My husband and brother were in the men's room while I stayed with the children in the women's room. In the middle of the night, we awoke horrified at the sound of a loud explosion. Israeli forces had fired missiles. The bombing continued unabated, and after a while the bombing targeted the room where my husband and brother were sleeping. A fire that lasted for more than three hours devoured everything in its path. There was no hope that anyone would survive this devastation. I knew my husband and brother were gone, and they were engulfed in fire ".

She continues to describe moments of pain: "I will never forget the sight of my children running towards the fire, desperate to save their father and uncle. They were screaming, begging God for a miracle. They fell apart, waiting for any good news, but nothing.

Fadaa’ continues: "When the fire finally subsided, there were no faces left to recognize, no features to say goodbye to at last. We couldn't even bury them properly, and this haunts me every day ".

Lost Justice and Accountability 

Fidaa recalls the characteristics her husband's qualities: "My husband was a very special man. Abdul Hamid was a passionate scholar whose postgraduate letter was entitled "The Role of the International Criminal Court in Protecting the Rights of Victims of Israeli Crimes." This title reflects his commitment to exploring how global institutions hold perpetrators responsible for their actions, and to protect the most vulnerable in conflict zones. But he didn't know that the war he studied from a theoretical perspective would take his life later. His work was driven by a deep belief in justice and the International Criminal Court's ability to be a force for accountability. His research was thorough, but also derived from his heart, reflecting his hope that in a world full of violence and oppression, there was a mechanism for justice and dignity for those caught in the crossfire. Abdul Hamid, personally and academically, understood the magnitude of the enormous suffering endured by civilians in Palestine.

The bitterness of living amid war

Since her husband's death, Fidaa and her children went to many shelters moved between several shelters, each of which has been less secure than previously. Shelter conditions were catastrophic, with no clean water and no sanitation, and we hardly get protection from the harshness of normal conditions. Shelters are overcrowded, and we face long lines to get everything, from drinking water to food. Cooked on open fire, clothes are also washed manually. There is no place for sleep, and children feel cold. Use of extra clothes and a few blankets to keep warm, but that's never enough.

The bitterness of living amid war

Since her husband's death, Fidaa and her children went to many shelters moved between several shelters, each of which has been less secure than previously. Shelter conditions were catastrophic, with no clean water and no sanitation, and we hardly get protection from the harshness of normal conditions. Shelters are overcrowded, and we face long lines to get everything, from drinking water to food. Cooked on open fire, clothes are also washed manually. There is no place for sleep, and children feel cold. Use of extra clothes and a few blankets to keep warm, but that's never enough.

Breadwinning and childcare

Fidaa is now responsible for breadwinning and caring for her children after her husband's murder. She says: "I took responsibility for supporting my family. My day begins with a heavy feeling in my heart, full of pain because of our reality ".

Challenges of humanitarian Work in Gaza

Humanitarian work became difficult in the Gaza Strip during and after the war. Fidaa  tried to work in difficult conditions, communicating with displaced people in her surroundings, providing support as much as possible and distributing little assistance. "In the evening, when the generator works, I charge my phone and call the outside world, even for a short time, thinking about the life we lived before the war.

Now, all I want is for my family to survive, for my children to grow up without the constant fear of bombs falling from the sky. I want to cuddle my loved ones and know they'll be here tomorrow. I dream of a time when we don't have to escape, where my children can go back to school and play without fear, rebuild a life that has been torn apart.

Fidaa’s message to World Leaders 

Fidaa’ does not ask world leaders for pity, but she asked them for action. Fidaa’ says: “  I appeal to them to realize that my family is not just a number or another victim of war. Everyone in Gaza is a human being who, just like you, having hopes, dreams and loved ones who want to protect them. We're not numbers. We're not collateral damage. We are human beings, parents, children and friends who deserve to live in peace. World leaders must act now to end this genocide. They must demand a ceasefire and call for humanitarian corridors to be opened.

My husband's story is not just about the death of one man, but a reminder of millions of lives destroyed by war. It highlights the urgent need for stronger and more effective protection of civilians in conflict zones, and global institutions must live up to the promises they have made to the world's most vulnerable people.

The battle for justice must continue, not only in courtrooms, but also in the hearts and minds of those seeking peace and accountability. Abdul Hamid's legacy lies in his pursuit of justice for others.

About ActionAid International

ActionAid International is a global federation working with over 41 million people living in more than 72 of the world's poorest countries. We envision a world characterized by justice and sustainability, where every individual has the right to a dignified life and freedom, and a world free from poverty and oppression. We strive to achieve social justice, gender equality, and eradicate poverty.

ActionAid Palestine began its work in Palestine in 2007 to strengthen the resilience of the Palestinian people, believing in their right to enjoy freedom, justice, and self-determination. ActionAid Palestine implements several programs through its engagement with Palestinian communities and youth and women’s groups, aiming to empower women and youth and enhance their active civil and political participation to understand their rights and undertake collective action to address the rights violations resulting from the prolonged occupation, in addition to improving their leadership capacity and practicing their citizenship in holding authorities and other duty bearers accountable.

For more information, please contact:

Riham Jafari 

Communication and Advocacy Officer at ActionAid Palestine 

Email: Riham.Jafari@actionaid.org